This is not your fault.

This death is not your fault.

It’s not something God is doing to get your attention.

This isn’t because you forgot to say something.

You may be thinking, “If only I could tell them one more time to take care of their health.”

You may be thinking, “If only I had been listening more closely when they were talking about their struggles.”

You may be thinking, “If only I had spent more time.”

An ancient writer reflecting on life and death tells us that all of our days are numbered before one of them comes to be. Your grief is big enough without adding the burden of self-blame.

And be very careful about listening to the blame that others may try to assign you. Often, we lash out at others because of pain we’re feeling ourselves.

Now, I’ll be honest. You may have regrets about things you said or didn’t, ways that you spent time. But those regrets are different than blame. We can apologize for things we regret. But for now, hear this: “This is not your fault.”


This Is Hard Copyright © 2021 by Jon C Swanson. All Rights Reserved.

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