Sometimes, the best help we can find is in resources we can browse at our own pace.
This is not an exhaustive list. Instead, it represents the kind of resources that are available. For an updated list, visit socialmediachaplain.com/thisishard.
How do I help the children during this loss?
Children often need help making sense of death. (Adults do, too.) Organizations like Erin’s House for Grieving Children in Fort Wayne, Indiana (www.erinshouse.org), and Ele’s Place in Michigan (www.elesplace.org) provide places and programs for children in their communities. They also have online resources that can be used by anyone.
That’s so hard. Kristen and Patrick Riecke draw on their own experience and their work with parents to offer support and explanation and encouragement in No Matter How Small: Understanding Miscarriage and Stillbirth (2020).
- “Surprised by Grief” with Clarissa Moll and Daniel Harrell. Each of the hosts of this podcast lost a spouse in 2019. Clarissa’s husband, Rob, died in a climbing accident. Daniel’s wife died with pancreatic cancer. But these two had already thought about life and death more than most people. Rob wrote a book, The Art of Dying, several years before his death, and Daniel was working as a pastor. They talk about their own experiences and the work they are doing with others, and invite us into the conversation. The content is often hard, but listening to them interact is remarkably helpful.
- Nora McIerney, We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it, TED, 4/9/2019. In a few weeks, Nora McIerney lost her dad, her husband, and her unborn child. She writes and podcasts about grief, loss, and living. This video is key to understanding the idea of moving forward.
- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed. HarperOne, 2009. With a foreword by Madeleine L’Engle. C.S. Lewis is known for writing about faith and about Narnia. This is like reading a journal in the days after his wife’s death. It captures the waves of grief. The foreword by Madeleine, also a writer, talks about the loss of her husband, and illustrates that each loss is different.
- In Don’t You Care That We Are Drowning? (And Other Unexpected Prayers), Brian Spahr shares the unexpected prayers of people who cry out to God amid their struggle and suffering and loss.
- In How to Talk With Sick, Dying, and Grieving People: When There Are No Magic Words to Say, Patrick Riecke addresses many of the really hard questions we have in grief.